wow!

{ words to a friend opening to receive the blessings of the universe. may emergence meet with abundance happiness and joyful acceptance. your mandala grows buddhafully; i bow in the direction to honor your transformation and evolution. fun fun fun summer sun 2006! "a lotus blooms and a buddha appears..." }

new house, new car!
wow!
new moon
new summer solstice season
wow!
what else
is in store
in this wild
and wondrous
adventure
called the summer of 2006
on the road to 2012?
.
.
.
new relationships
new commitments
newfound power
and dimensions of being
new eyes
new perspectives
new layers unfolding
new awakenings
new emergencies
:-)
yes
new emergencies
i am experiencing
the emergence
of this awakening
part of myself
and this tells me
that i am alive
and that i am
I AM
I AM
I AM
.
.
.
the self
that embraces
accepts and allows
the self that
intuits and flows
with faithfulness
prayerfulness
and gratitude
GO GRATITUDE
the self
that opens
to the abundance
of the earth sky moon sun
the abundant blessing gifts
of this blossoming life to come
.
.
.
wow!
what is this?
should i be surprised?
its the maturation
period of a dream i've longed
desired
the part of me that
remembers surprises
are the symbols
and signals
used to communicate
when we orient
and return
to the universal way
the enlightened way
the truthful way
.
.
.
wow!
the Source
Exists
and I know it
because it flows
within me
at this moment
of transformation
this call to expand
and become
embraced
by the goodness
of LIFE
.
.
.
wow!
YES
wow!
YES
BLESS
BLESS
BLESS

"2012"

REwrite the score
take the floor
we are the ones we have been waiting for...
.
.
.
slowly but surely

loving kindness (to me...)

february 25, 2003
(email to old friend onelovetrust - thanks for resending and reminding me...)

loving kindness to me...

today, i am thinking about how important it is to be able
to cultivate deep loving kindness for myself. to know how
to take care of myself, to be kind to myself, to make room
for myself, to embrace myself when things are good, but
moreso, when things are bad. when things are bad, i cannot let
that strong wave of emotion carry me too far to a point
where i again feel incapable, unworthy, low, hopeless,
mediocre, rejectable---should i go on? ( :-) no but really, this
morning, i woke up and caught a glimpse of an insight about
how important it is---for my continued growth, as i
continue to dig and dig and dig some more, practicing gently
patience and understanding with myself---to be able to laugh at
my difficulties, my weakness, my
forgetfulness...befriending them and accepting them. its funny because maybe the
things that i am "striving to cultivate" are no further than
learning to love myself deeply, especially when i suffer and
feel bad. maybe the act of striving towards something is
the trick lure i cast to be able to stumble, fall,
forget---reminding me to return back to myself, to pick myself up,
dust myself off, releasing breath with laughter! loving
kindness begins with me, soothing me to grow.

in that book "wisdom of no escape", i like the part where
she speaks against fixations for change and transformation
because this too is a form of aggression on ourselves...the
need to feel like i am not already whole, able, complete.
samsara with nirvana. loving kindness is the sweet nectar
between the two. i grow in confidence that it will carry
me joyfully, supporting my /mis/adventures. loving kindness
is knowing that sometimes, or maybe even most times, its
okay to get off the freeway, rest, and then come back.
whoever said we couldn't.

the dimensions of love continue to astound and surprise me.
so many textures. expansive, pure, humble, skillful in its
gentleness, focused intent, penetrating, diffusing subtly,
infectious, smoothening the edges of my heart.